Two Stories

What’s Wrong With This Picture?

Customer approaches the service desk at a retail store with a product, clearly opened.

“I would like to return this,” Customer says.
“Do you have your receipt?” asks Employee.
“No, I don’t know where it is and when I got this home it didn’t work the way I thought it did, so I don’t really want it anymore.”
“Well, if you don’t have a receipt then we can’t take it back. And anyway it’s been opened,” says Employee.
“Well, I bought it here, I’m sure you could look it up the system.”
“I’m sorry, once a product has been opened we can’t take it back.”
“Well, can I talk to a manager?”
When she arrives, Manager listens to the exasperated customer–who has now been in the store 15 minutes–go through the story again. While she listens intently, Employee rolls his eyes, knowing that Manager will accept the merchandise and issue a store credit.

After another 5-10 minutes Employee has issued a store credit to Customer, who is relieved but frustrated the process took 30 minutes, required escalating to Manager, and retelling the story.

What’s Right With This Picture?

Customer approaches the service desk at a retail store with a product, clearly opened.

“I would like to return this,” Customer says.
“Do you have your receipt?” asks Employee.
“No, I don’t know where it is and when I got this home it didn’t work the way I thought it did, so I don’t really want it anymore.”
“OK, let me see if I can find the purchase in our system. When did you purchase it?”
“Last week,” says Customer.
“OK, and did you use a credit card?”
“No, cash.”
“OK, I won’t be able to find the record in our system then. We typically don’t take back opened merchandise without a receipt, but what I can do for you in this case is give you store credit for the amount of your purchase. Will that work?”
“Well, I would prefer the cash.”
“I would too. If you can find the receipt then I can give you cash, but without it I’ll only be able to issue store credit. Is that OK?”
“Sure.”
“OK, bear with me for just a minute while I do the paperwork and we’ll get you on your way.”

There are actually more than 2 stories here. We must count the story Customer will tell friends and family, the story that Employee will tell Coworkers, and the story of things Manager left undone to approve a simple return.

Why did the Wrong story take 30 minutes of the customer’s time? Why did it require 30 minutes of Employee’s labor plus Manager’s time?

Why did the Right story only take 5 minutes, result in a happier customer, and a less burdened Manager? More importantly, why are stories like this so rare?

More on that next time.

Not long ago, I wrote about what I call “The New Business” in a series of articles arguing, essentially, that if businesses want to “win” they need to differentiate based on something other than price, location, or local hegemony due to the flattening of barriers to entry. I said in the first article that to succeed a business needed an experience for the customer and a story for the employees. This series is about the story.

Burn Your Mission Statement

I don’t know when it was, but sometime before I reached adulthood every business became convinced it should be spending hours of executive time in a small room creating a Mission Statement. This, prima facie, may seem like a good idea, and it may have been in the distant past. But Mission Statements have become an absurdity.

Every mission statement I have ever read says something like “We want to be the premier provider of Widgets and Widget Accessories” or “We strive to fulfill our customers’ objectives.” Lofty goals, certainly, but wholly meaningless and a waste of time. These Mission Statements, admittedly abstracted–but not much–fail to guide employees in decision making and serve only to demonstrate to customers that you really have no idea how to help them.

Who Are You? What do You Want?

If a mission statement like those above is the best your business can do, then you should probably quit. If you’re the owner, president, or CEO you should close this window, turn off your computer and cash out now. A combination of the demands of New Business and the tough economic climate mean you’ve already hit, or just haven’t yet seen the iceberg. It may take years to sink that ship, but trust me, it does not pay to be the last one off the boat.

If your business has more potential than your cobwebby Mission Statement, or you’ve lost your way and are willing to sacrifice to find your compass then I’ll talk a little more about story in the next article.